Usha faces challenges balancing familial expectations and her own aspirations as she prepares for marriage.
At twenty-five, Usha found herself in Delhi, anticipating marriage. For someone with a Bachelor’s degree in Home Science, the future seemed predetermined: a grand wedding followed by a conventional life as a wife. Her college days were filled with pleasant memories, characterized by engaging classes, friendly banter, and countless cups of tea shared in the canteen. The debates held in college were particularly memorable, where students passionately discussed literature, art, and philosophy, wielding references to philosophical giants like Bertrand Russell and Hegel. They often used the term ‘non-sequitur’ to impress their peers, reveling in their intellectual banter.
After completing her degree, Usha returned to her affluent neighborhood in Delhi, where life revolved around the local park frequented by joggers and walkers. While she took leisurely walks and helped her mother with chores, the chatter among her parents about potential suitors for her marriage filled the air. Complications arose due to her elder sister, who had married into wealth, raising the bar for Usha’s own match. The matrimonial advertisements for brides were filled with descriptions of women possessing impressive qualifications and fair skin, making Usha feel somewhat inadequate, especially when her father’s advertisement described her as having ‘wheatish’ skin, a euphemism for dark that did little to help her case.
Years later, living in San Francisco, Usha would reflect on her friend Marianne’s beauty, remarking how she would be considered the most beautiful woman in Delhi. Yet, amidst all the societal pressure, Usha often thought of the boy from her college debates, whose sweet words and ardent feelings had once captured her heart. Their romance, however, had ended with college, as neither pursued the relationship further. Usha felt that insisting on marriage would have been inappropriate, labeling it a non-sequitur in her life’s narrative.
When her parents arranged for her to marry a boy living in America, Usha felt a sense of relief. This match represented progress, not just for her family but also for her personal aspirations. His American background suggested maturity and a broader perspective on life. The boy’s family hailed from Meerut, a place she associated with provincial life, but his achievements in America made him an attractive prospect. At thirty-two, he was older than her but not excessively so, especially considering her family dynamics.
Despite the uncertainties surrounding his family’s status, the agreement among the community was that this match was an upgrade. Usha’s excitement grew, although she wished she knew him better. The first meeting between their families did not go as planned; it was marked by awkward silences and cultural miscommunications. Usha found herself conversing with her prospective sister-in-law, who spoke no English, leading to discussions centered around home management topics.
Through these interactions, Usha realized that her education in Home Science had inadequately prepared her for the practicalities of running a home. However, the thought of moving to America with her husband after a brief visit to Meerut gave her hope for a new beginning, where she could carve out her own identity beyond the expectations set by her family and society.
